The ad for the new Gillette razor features a bunch of mooks bursting into men's rooms and giving the razor to half-naked men to try. One of the selling points is that it doesn't give you a lot of "tug and pull."
I say I like the tug and pull.
But then, I'm not talking about shaving.
The ad for the Hyundai Essence has got to be the fruitiest wish-fulfillment fantasy I've ever seen.
First of all, where do they get the names for these cars? Essence is kind of okay, but when I was in Korea I saw names like "Nubira" or "Terracan" or "Musso." Do they just throw a bunch of Scrabble tiles on the floor until they get something that looks like a word?
The ad for the Essence features a quartet of mooks who find a magic wand and conjure up the car. They change the colour, drive down the road, and the mook with the wand zaps himself into another car full of pretty girls.
If you're any kind of man at all, the Essence is not the kind of car you conjure up. Think of Steve McQueen in "Bullitt" or Gene Hackman in "The French Connection." Now those are the kinds of car, and that's how you drive it! At top speed through the city, dodging other cars and pedestrians, chasing down some killers to a shootout or a fiery demise!
Not meandering down the avenue, head bopping to some adman's idea of a jaunty tune.
That's for fags.
Brmmm-mmmm-mmmm-mmmm.
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