Why I Teach ESL

There is a funny website, engrish.com, that features the misuse of the English language by those who are not native speakers. Since I have been in China, I have seen many more examples to add to their site.
The area I live in is the site of a lot of new building, and there are billboards around the construction that advertise how great they are going to be when they're finished. Some of the English that they use is unintentionally funny.
But why use English at all? It isn't that prevalent here. I have met only a few who speak it, so it's a mystery why a developer would want to use it to advertise their product. Do they think that the people who see it (but can't read it) will be impressed?
But I digress.
One sign reads: "The Great House is on the Eastern City Hall and the Northern River." This is on a complex near the building that is North Harbin's City Hall, and it is close to the river.
Another building site's sign says "Deposit Gold Silver Than Save Shop."
?
Another sign on the same site reads:
"Great Appreciation of Space
Wealth is in our hands."
That's how it looks on the billboard, so I'm not sure if it's supposed to be one sentence or not. It makes a little more sense as two sentences, but as one... what is "Space Wealth?"
Yet another development sign advertises itself as "Water's Fragrant Dike."
Okay.
Here is a picture of a local business' sign:

Now I realize they are probably in the real estate business, but what if they are selling real property? Can you buy fake property, too?A restaurant across the street is the "Lotus Fishing Restaurant." I went there to eat with some of the department heads (both from Canada and here in Harbin), but we weren't asked to catch our own dinner.
Another restaurant is named "Splendid Restaurant" on the front, but "People Restaurant" around the corner. Which is it? And do you feed people, or serve them up? Whatever, I am going to be careful about walking near it.
Other businesses I have seen are: "Love's Witness," "Her Dress Box," "Happy Hour Time Hotel" (probably similar to the "love motels" I encountered in Korea), "Bird Nest Business Lnn" (my italics), and an ice cream parlour that tells us to "enjoy delicious enjoy life."
When I was taken to a hospital for a physical, I left my urine sample on a tray that had a sign:: "Leave urine after duct inserted on top of the shey." Boy, I hope I did it right.
I found a de-motivational poster featuring this backpack:

Heh.
Even my students are exposed unwittingly to poor English, in the form of the notebooks they use. One has this printed on the cover:

 

LONELY HEART

I stood in the memory of

the entrance

A collection of my left chest

Go Ballistic loneliness

Naked loses

Stick out a mile.

So I can not say tears

Because of hair

I walked along the fate of

 the arrow

But moving to the next

 

You could make the case that it's poetry, because it works for me on that level.

But the best, the one that I absolutely love, is this paragraph written on the back of car parked in front of the apartment building next to mine. It reads:

JUNCTION PRODUCE

High Lovely Salloon Gallery

We, coordinate brand for "JUNCTION PRODUCE" of VIPCAR, are proud of be fed back aggresively to make full use of sensibility the tradition for as much of austerity. eeriness. rambunctiosness and austere elegance in which only prestige carhas. By so doing. we, junction Pproduce Would like to aim the way to the pinnacle of VP dress up and we want to be only the first and last memory keeper of by succeeding this point from everlasting to everlasting. 

It's complete gibberish. It's fantastic gibberish, and I fell in love with it the moment I saw it. I mean, you can't make this stuff up!
What is the company selling? Cars (VIPCAR)? Produce, as in vegetables? Or clothes (dress up)? Who cares?

As long as there are signs like this, my job is safe.