Reasons Why

I was reading Eve's post about the 'Boycott American Women' website. There were some good comments made about it, and even I had something to say. I said that the reason I boycott women is because I am painfully shy. I am an introvert. I've always been an introvert, but the way I lived my life made it a stronger part of my character than perhaps it should have been.
My folks moved around a lot. In the 90's, I bought one of those books where you fill in your family history, and the pages that described where we lived were completely filled in. This was before I went to Korea. I need another book for those.
I had a couple of good friends in elementary school, when we were living in Deadmonton. After I had finished grade 6, we moved back to Calgary, where we moved a coupla more times. In junior high and high school, I was the new kid. A new kid who's shy is not going to be part of a crowd. I had a few friends (never at the same time), but they sort of petered out, and by the time I graduated, I was close to no-one.
And girls?
Forget about it!
In junior high, I was interested, but could not bring myself to let them know it. I was too scared of what might happen. I learned to build a wall around my feelings and bury them deep.
That's been the pattern throughout my life. I can talk to women upon occasion, but any attempt on my part to take it beyond a certain point causes a complete brain freeze and I turn into an incoherently babbling idiot.
I mean, more than usual.
So I've come to a point in my life where I know that it's just not going to happen for me. I'm learning to be comfortable with myself, because I know that that's all I will have.
A posting on Facebook alerted me to a book about the subject, called The Introvert Advantage by Marti Laney, PsyD. It's a pretty good description of what I'm like.
I don't talk until I have something to say.
I need a reason to talk.
I've given up on trying to find something to say, just to be part of the conversation. It has to come naturally.
I like having few friends, because most people aren't worth my time. I'd rather have one Flint as a friend than a hundred of them.
I'm happy in my Batmancave, because mooks can't figure out the entry code.
I can think clearer without their noise.
I'm not interested in what is popular, or hearing about it from other people. I've got my own shit to think about.
Like Popeye says, 'I am what I am.'
My mom is driven to despair sometimes, because I don't perform well (for her) when she introduces me to her friends. She thinks I'm rude. I tried to tell her about this book, and explain why I do the things I do, but she still doesn't get it. Most people won't, but I don't worry about them anymore.
Flint's post about how Korea prepared him goes for me, too. Learning to deal with the stress of living and working in the Land of Morning Calm (and Afternoon Confusion) makes that as easy as pie.